Klear Inspiration

Its harder than it sounds. 

My mind raced like crazy, I kept fidgeting, I kept trying to touch something on my desk. I started over about 4 times and then finally just buckled down and forced it upon myself. 

It felt like the 2 minutes lasted forever. But I did it, and it was magical. I’ve gotta remember to do this on a daily basis. Give it a whirl! 

http://www.donothingfor2minutes.com/

The following links is a series the the UT created which talks a lot about my work, some of our clients, and what we do. How amazing it is! I am so inspired by my job and the community that collaborate together to make things possible for others! The final article showcases one of our direct clients within our program. 

Thought that I would share! :)

*Cheers

http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2012/mar/31/frequent-users-strain-emergency-medical-sytem/

http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2012/mar/31/paramedics-face-same-patients-again-and-again/

http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2012/mar/31/frequent-er-visitors-burden-emergency-doctors/

http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2012/mar/31/rebuilding-lives-reduces-strains-ers/

http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2012/mar/31/can-a-frequent-user-break-the-syndrome/

Every now and then my creative juices begin to spill and want to go all over the place. 

My mind is racing with ideas, wants and desires.

Do I want to Paint? Capture? Compose? Create?

What is it that my creative mind is wanting to do…. and of course, any further I had thought hadn’t lead to anything. Just the urge, the desire, the want.

I want to do it all. 

And as I felt the urge further… I received some simply AMAZING photos from the photo shoot session that my Fiance and I did with our wedding photographer Dacia Lamb.

Please visit her blog site and check out some of our photos! Spread the love, and if you are in search for a photographer - look no further! She is not only skilled, but she is down to earth, great to work with and has a great eye! 

Check out the rest of the photos

Well, its a new year. Happy new year indeed. 

I was told today by a co-worker that I am too good of a person. I do things and agree to things to make others happy and I ignore myself and what I truly want, because I hope for the best. We can just call it in a way… Selfish. But a good selfish.

Whereas I don’t fully agree with her, I took a step back and thought of the reasons for this. I will not go into detail but I saw what she was saying. 
Doing something that I didn’t fully want in the beginning, but agreeing to do it because for one it was meaningful and special to someone else and second I thought that in the end it would be a positive experience which would result in all parties (hopefully) being benefited by the change.  

What is this that I’m speaking of, why am I being so cryptic? Just go with it… I’m not going to devuldge that information. Pretend I’m talking about Dancing Unicorns and rainbows… Robots and fish… whatever floats your boat, whatever tickles your pickle.

All in all… I continusly put others first. I don’t always ask for the recognition, and I doubt that it’s seen, and I don’t always know if its appreciated… well now its a new year. I will continue being the giving person that I am… putting others needs in front of mine… but I will also give myself a present.

As most of my friends know, I am currently engaged. I am getting married to the man of my dreams. I couldn’t be happier. While we first discussed just flying off to Vegas to elope - we’re putting others first and in a way putting my desire (now) first and having an actual wedding, so people can witness it, be involved and dance their tooshies off on a dancefloor. And now this is what I want. I want that wedding. I want to be the most beautiful girl in the room… 

As I’ve been planning for our wedding in July of this year, I’ve gotten girly with it and I am excited. Not only to get married to someone that I love so incredibly, but to have that fairytale. I don’t remember dreaming on my wedding while I was growing up so I’m experiencing all these feelings now. And let me tell you how excited I am. Not just to be getting married to such a wonderful man, but having my amazing collective to be there present as well. 

This is not just a day for me. It is a day for him as well. It will be our day together. And in a little under 7 months, I can’t wait for it to happen. And to share this wonderful day with my collective. Because in the end… its about you guys too… as you have helped shape me into the compassionate person that I am today. I blame you all for being so awesome and making me just as awesome in retrospect! 

So cheers to all of us. Those of us who put others first and to those who put ourselves first. 

Today I visited a different part of the village that I normally am not in. Its Halloween time and apparently I was signed up to hand out Halloween treats. We got our emails from the coordinator stating that we can go and pick up the “goodies” when we had time, prior to Friday. (Apparently they are celebrating Halloween on Friday instead of Monday) My co-worker grabs me and says “Let’s go down to Children’s” I slip my shoes back on and we start heading down the emergency stairs to the street.

We enter the JKC and head down the hallway to children’s and BAM! It hits me, there are families and children that are apart of the village. Children whose families are homeless, children who themselves would be considered homeless, something they couldn’t control in any means.  I knew in the back of my mind that there were children there, hell- we talk about Children’s in meetings and I just never put faces to the title until today. We walk into the children’s center and there they are… there are roughly 15 kids in one section, and I look towards the back and there is a row of cribs and the lights are dim. It was literally a wave of reality that hit me.

My co-worker and I walk into the main office in the area and we start to gather supplies for the Halloween trick or treating that the kids will be doing throughout the village. The kids, one by one were coming up to us asking if they can help. There was one very persistent little boy about 3-4 years old helping us carry boxes of chips (they were light as a feather) from the office to the cart.

Seeing the unaware smiles on their faces, watching tears roll down their cheeks as they cried for their mommy or daddy, and seeing the general carefree happiness that children have when they don’t realize how the world is around them was astonishing.  They didn’t know the situation they were living in, the situation that some of them are born into. They see that they have caring people surrounding them, and really – that’s all they need.

One little girl was a few days early for Halloween was very insistent on wearing her ladybug costume, wings and all… She pretended to fly through the activity room making buzzing noises as if she was auditioning to be a bee. There was a little boy (the same boy who helped us carry boxes to the cart) coming up to myself and my co-worker saying “Miss!  Miss! Can I help?” It reminded me of last summer when I was volunteering at the orphanage in Nepal.
The children at the orphanage – were in the same boat… yet they had no parents – they were orphans… (Oh I can go on about this forever, but I will digress) but the way us volunteers were addressed were as “Miss! Miss!”  So as this young boy was yelling “Miss! Miss! Can I help?” It was precious to see the eagerness in his eyes, the smile on his face, the willingness to participate.

I looked around the room before we left; the children were all getting ready to go play outside.  They put on their jackets and were forming in a single line.  They waved to us and were all yelling their goodbyes as my co-worker and I were taking the cart of goodies out.

I walked out smiling. Hoping that the children would grow up knowing the care that they received is genuine, and knowing that they weren’t growing up on the streets was reassuring. They don’t have the same upbringing that you or I have had- but they’ve got a whole team of people who care for them in one way or another.

(I now feel compelled to write about the children in Nepal and the children from my house building trips to Mexico – I may have opened a whole new can of worms!)

The other night, my guy took me to the Grand Del Mar, for Sophie 103.7’s listening party or something along those lines. We got to be apart of a small-ish number of “fans” to see Jason Mraz and his accompanist Toca Rivera.

Jason Mraz and Toca Rivera are currently touring all over the place currently and it was a serious “OMIGOSH” moment to be able to be THAT close to both of them, as they are amazing at what they do. Not to mention that after the show was over, we got to take a photo with J. Mraz. (GUSH!)

There are two musicians that I will no doubt fight someone in a gangSTUR way to see live.  One is Michael Franti and Spearhead and the other is Jason Mraz.
Both of these artists have an amazing message when they sing. Both of them are extremely positive persona-wise as well as through their musical messages, and no doubt - both give me the warm fuzzies.  Not to mention, both artists put on a fun and entertaining live show. Don’t mess with me or get in my way if either of these artists are near. There will be some head-butting and some junk punches! (Face, Junk, Face, Junk)

I’ve seen both artists several times, and each time- it is just like the first time. I swoon, I smile, I may even tear up, I sing along, and I dance. I leave the venue feeling recharged and still excited. It’s almost like I am 10 years old again and seeing New Kids on the Block. (That giddy!) Everytime I attend one of their shows, I come back energized, motivated and moved….

I’ve always been a solid lover to music. Music has never let me down and never has betrayed me. Music has given me abundant feelings, has made me shake my booty and move my feet. Music has made me swoon and fall in love. Music has also made me cry and feel defeated. Music has won battles and lost battles. But music has ALWAYS been there for me and it’s always had my back.
Often times, I think that Music is my soundtrack to life. There is music which can shape ones day, make a specific mood occur and that can also change one’s life.  You can see music, feel music, taste music and obviously hear music – it works well with the senses.

I enjoy the “feel-good” chemicals which music somehow releases. Listening to music creates the brain to release dopamine and make you feel that rush and happiness that we all in some way feel when we listen to something that we like.

I read an article that gave scientific evidence of a study of listening to music and the effects that it has on human beings. And even though, we all knew that music makes us happy – there is now scientific proof that it is a fact. It spoke of scientist injecting participants with a radioactive substance that binds to dopamine receptors in the bloodstream. They would inject the participants before and after listening to music.  (Google the name: Valorie Salimpoor – she is the neuroscientist who completed the study.)

My dopamine levels are about to burst through the roof from the gush of amazing music that I experienced the other night, and I just can’t get enough. 

I’m ready to stomp in the dirt!

Some of you may not be aware of this but my job is working with the chronically homeless. Well my official job title is Executive Project Administrative Assistant, but my job doesn’t just stop and end with sitting in an office (yes, I have my own office) in front of a computer crunching numbers and filing all day. Nope, I am out there – I do things. (And stuff!)

In the short time frame that I have worked at my job thus far, I have learned an extensive amount. I have learned that no matter what age someone is – they can be helpless.  I have learned that people may grow up and learn life skills, but it is just as easy to lose those life skills and have to be taken care of and re-taught how to do what most would consider simple every day things.

So what we do is we have a certain number of clients that we work direct with in our program. The population that we work with is high cost users of the county systems. (Ambulance, jail, hospitals, etc) These people cost the county millions of dollars per year (I joke you not).  We’ve got a list of these people by working closely with the County Jails and the hospitals in the San Diego area and in one way or another; we have tracked these people down and have offered them our services.  Now some were currently using the villages’ services already, we are just offering them a different branch to swing from. Our project’s motto is “Housing First”. We work with the people to get them into housing prior to anything else. We take a different approach, which is different from what they’ve been offered in the past – obviously those approaches didn’t work. We don’t ask them to not drink, we don’t ask them to not use – we strictly start with getting them housed. And after that – we work on the other stuff!

We have a total of 35 people, and all of our people are currently housed. Once we help the client obtain housing, we provide for them as well. We go shopping for them and purchase all the items one would need to make a home. Some of these people haven’t had an actual place, four walls and a roof to call home in over a decade. Some have been sleeping in bushes on cardboard, in an alley, on the sidewalk for so long that the client just never believes that having a home can ever be a reality for them again. They’ve drowned so deep in whatever it is that put them on the streets that the client believe that there is no way of  reaching the surface again to see the sunlight. We help these people get electricity on in their apartments and sometimes cable and a landline. (Believe it or not, there are many homeless people with cell phones!) So we have these people housed, we have provided for them what it takes to have a place called home, we have helped them shop for groceries and household goods.. what’s next you ask?!

Next, we help them help themselves.  One morning I was asked to help a client with his laundry. So I put on my rubber gloves, grab a black plastic bag and head on upstairs. I knock on the client’s door and I tell him what I’m there to do.  I have him put all his dirty clothes in the black bag, I do not touch this portion, granted I am wearing my rubber gloves, but he needs to learn this stuff. So I guide him on putting his clothes in the bag. Then I grab the bag, close it and sling it over my back like I’m Santa Claus. (The client has a walker, and cannot carry it himself) We walk down the hall to the laundry room, and I instruct him on how to do his laundry. I tell him how much to put in each unit, how much soap, where to put the quarters and which buttons to choose.  I let him know that I will be back in 30 minutes to help him put the clothes in the dryer, and he thanks me. The look of appreciation on his face was priceless. It’s hard to believe that something so simple like doing your laundry, someone needs help with. I came back up to the client’s apartment a half hour later and he was sitting on the bed watching the news. He comments on how crazy some people are out there in the world and chuckles to himself. He looked at me and said… “I could probably be considered one of them from time to time!”
We walk back down the hallway to the laundry room and I instruct him on taking the clothes out of the washed and placing them in the dryer, putting a dryer sheet inside, closing the door, putting in the quarters and then pushing a button to turn it on. Easy enough to everyday people, not so easy for some. The client took the instructions and followed them to a tee. Again, as we left the laundry room, I told him I would be back to help with the final step of the process… he again, thanked me profusely and we went our separate ways.

It’s the small things like laundry, hygiene, keeping a calendar and making appointments that to a lot of people are everyday things. To a lot of people, we could do it with our eyes shut and not give it a second thought. Yet, there are populations that do not know how to do the everyday things somewhere along the line, they lost touch with what they grew up learning. Those are the people we are helping.  

Every day at work is something different. It is never the same. Our clients are needy and sometimes too much to handle, but we are there for them. I have met several of them and they’ve been extremely grateful, (sometimes extremely drunk as well).

In the past I’ve built houses for the poor in Mexico, I’m donated my time at soup kitchens, and I’ve traveled halfway across the world to volunteer at an orphanage in Nepal. All those were amazing experiences – yet now my experience is a daily one. Whatta journey it is…

Sometimes one is truly inspired by the most simple of things. Whether it is a distant memory, in which smells, colors and touch is vivid. A person, whose life and struggles plucks the heartstrings and plays a tone all too familiar. Or a simple moment in passing, where everything goes silent and color goes to black and white.

Today I was inspired. Moreso, than other days. I came across a client’s piece of art. What can be considered their True Art. My mind was blown to epic proportions, there was shock and awe and the only thoughts that came to mind was; “I’ve got to write.” So here I am, sitting in front of a glowing screen, hoping that I keep the inspiration and the energy up while it lasts. Hoping that my laziness will not succumb to me and I will stop writing half-way through.

There have been several moments in my adult years where I would get that inspiration and sit in front of my laptop and start writing. I would think something would make an excellent story and I would start pounding on the keyboard like a red-headed step-child. (Damn Gingers and their genetic deformities! SMIRK!) Halfway through, I would eventually stop for the day and that would be that. The energy would be lost, and I would save the document and in most cases never return to it, which would eventually lead to deleting it entirely off my hard-drive, yes…. without backing it up.
Now in my youth, I would spend countless hours a night in front of my word processor, putting words on a screen, having it all form a story with a beginning, middle and an end. Finishing the product and feeling accomplished.
I would write poems and submit them to poetry contests, and I would be endlessly doodling and drawing something on any surface that I could.

As my adult years approached, the ink didn’t flow as well. Life happened and I got consumed by it. I ignored the artist in me and went on with my daily business. I still surrounded myself by endless overspills of art via friends and my community – yet my ink was never filled fully and the canvas always seemed too messy and unprepared.  

My writing was sporadic and never finished or made public. My poetry lacked due to being unable to keep count and the inadequacy of connotations. My artwork inspiration came and went. Although, the paintings that cover my walls are my own. My photography is intermittent at best. I love taking photos and snapping shots at every opportunity and capturing the beauty and essence of all things—yet the sitting in front of a screen for several hours being meticulous and editing, I do not fully enjoy. My personality doesn’t allow a photo to always just be raw.

So all in all - I am full of art, just the faucets get turned on and off so much that my true art doesn’t flow so evenly as I would prefer. I always felt like an epic failure in my artistic endeavors, which is why I never broadcast my ideas across the board.  On a regular basis, I am bursting with ideas that would be colossal, if only I could just finish them.

Each and every platform my true art falls upon, I love. And when I get the itch to express myself – I scratch it with a vengeance- yet I am busy in this game we call life. As we all are. Yet its nice to get back in touch with our true art.